whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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