at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
