I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
