i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!