Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..