Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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