My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.