Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you mean i was at the winter classic?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man