i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
