You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is my gift to your gina
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
