Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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