This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
