It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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