Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
