Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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