Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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