A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
