I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
