six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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