You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
