That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
