Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
