No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize