you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
