I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
