Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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