You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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