Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
