Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
