i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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