fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
