Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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