Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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