he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
