True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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