thus making me awesome and them whores
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
