I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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