Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.