i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death