I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home