yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.