My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day