how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
