3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
