Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
