we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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