Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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