Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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