so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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