from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
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I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you didnt know i had herpes?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize