Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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