just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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