a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
