we're chasing vodka with high fives
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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