I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize