I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize