you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
