do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
