This girl is more easily done than said...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
