he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he just fucked me for my cheese.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
