We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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