It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
