boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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