i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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