Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
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her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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