The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
