Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
