I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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